Emotional Intelligence: Is it a Cause Of Your Suffering?

“We all consider ourselves emotionally intelligent.

But, Are we emotionally conscious?”

#CHOOSECONSCIOUSNESS

Emotional intelligence and emotional consciousness are two very different things. The way you use them in your life gives you different results. It’s common to pride yourself over emotional intelligence, but most of the time, it’s the cause of our suffering. Let us read the story of Ash to realize the difference, observe carefully, and try to relate this in your life.

Ash was facing challenges to understand his people’s emotions. He was visibly fatigued, scared, anxious, and overwhelmed. Over the past few years, he had invested heavily in developing his ability to understand people and their emotions. He had gone through multiple personality mapping methods, EI and psychometric tools and developed a fair degree of understanding emotions that drove his people, his family, and his friends.

He was worried about his daughter’s impulsive behavior. She took decisions without thinking objectively and researching. In the process, she would hurt herself and get injured while doing ordinary things. The more he watched her, the more he grew concerned. Despite sending her to various counselors, the improvements were superficial and temporary. In fact, she had grown less confident and hesitant in making even simple decisions that later resulted in her becoming impulsive again over matters where it was least expected.

He was also worried about his wife over her cautious approach to everything. He understood her underlying emotions and her background only too well. She had a history of taking decisions late in her life; she had shared with him while they dated. She was an introvert and always delayed taking her decisions to the extent that he had waited for six years before she had hesitatingly agreed to marry him. He still felt (after 16 years of their marriage) that she sometimes displayed doubts over her decision. While she was in high school, she wanted to join the marine corps, but her upper age limit elapsed by the time she finally decided. He knew of her compulsive emotions and even discussed these with her. She had taken therapy too. The behaviors had shown a change, but the undercurrents and resultant scars did not heal. She still remained hesitant.

He could see these patterns in everyone now. The more he noticed, the more he worried. To overcome his worries, he had been advised to remain objective. He decided to let things be and accept people the way they were. He even tried yoga and meditation. Things helped him for some time, but they re-emerged with increased intensity when he was most vulnerable. He didn’t know how to resolve his problems and worries permanently.

Ash was an emotionally intelligent human as he understood his own emotions and also other’s emotions. He knew he suffered from excessive worrying. He even knew that he was endogenously empathetic. He also knew that he had extreme compulsive emotions of trying to be helpful to people. He knew he suppressed his anger; his wife procrastinated, his daughter was impulsive and anxiety-prone.

He now suffered even more. He suffered due to his own Intelligence.

I remember an incident from my teenage. My grand aunt was diagnosed with terminal stage cancer. Doctors had given her no more than a couple of months of a painful life. All through, she had lived an active, happy, and vibrant life. There was a family meeting where all family members decided to let her pass away in ignorance. To everyone’s amazement, she continued to live a happy and vibrant life. She did complain of pain from time to time, but since she did not know that she had cancer, the psychology of disease did not get to her head. She went through treatments from time to time and continued with her normal life and her prayers. After nearly a year or more, I heard that she passed away peacefully while sleeping in her home. Cancer finally got her body, but could not get her mind. I can only imagine her suffering had she come to know that she had cancer.

Knowing is important, but it is just a beginning. Using intelligence to the point of understanding is like having a brilliant idea. However, success is achieved by working on that idea. A plan is 0.01% while its execution is 99.99%.

Humans need to grow beyond Emotional Intelligence. In a state of Emotional Consciousness, which is the next stage of human evolution, we understand the roots of our compulsive emotions and using methods of consciousness, we recreate ourselves and rid ourselves of our compulsions. It is liberating.

While Emotional Intelligence ensures and enhances our tendency of Survival, Emotional Consciousness leads to liberations from their compulsions. It gives us real freedom to choose. It allows us to behave the way we need to and not the way we should. It rids us of all our guilts, remorse, pain, anxieties, conflicts and doubts, and more. In this process, you not only Survive better, but you go way beyond.

Are you interested in mere Survival or inclined to releasing your Potential?

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