In our 3rd conversation in this series of blogs on the subject of Complexity of Decisions, I continue my thread of thoughts from last post. This is that aspect of our lives that we go through everyday, sometimes happily and sometimes apprehensively. It is that part which each of us has to go through and which also defines our future and our lives. We try to avoid it and shift it onto others. It is something that we alone are responsible for and it defines us.
Decision making is a complex activity that consumes many people. Self doubt and apprehension comes up the moment decision making begins. Whether to do something or not, to start something or not, to say something or to remain quiet, how to say something, how much to say, when to say, who to say to, to invest or to divest, to carry on or to stop, how much to do, to grow or to wind up, and such innumerable questions in our everyday life, test and challenge us.
While a lot has been talked about it, I have found some idiotically simple steps to do this. I intend to share these with you in the hope that you will benefit from it.
After step 1 of Disciplining yourself for Decision making and step 2 of Scheduling a timeline for arriving at decisions, we take the third Step of Inclusive approach.
Suffering from feelings of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, comparison, competitiveness, greed and need to prove, we develop a tendency to constantly safeguard our interests with disregard to other people’s interests. In our quest to improve our lives and keep surviving, our minds remain full of how can we meet our goals at all costs.
Our instinct to survive pervades all aspects of our body, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, convictions and is driven by our Ego. We have to win that argument, we have to stand taller than others, we have to prove how smart and intelligent we are, we have to showcase the display of our intellect and live in the comfort of our self created image. Each time we win that argument, we inflate our Ego and an inflated Ego increases our fear… fear leads to greater focus on winning more arguments and this goes on endlessly to the point where we definitely reach the pinnacle of Survival (some perceive it as Success). But what we see around us are people we have walked over, we have hurt, people who are our yes men, those who constantly live in our awe or fear. This is indeed a place of Exclusivity…. where we are now alone and have successfully excluded many from our lives.
A process of decision making which is designed for making us Exclusive is bound to be stressful and cumbersome.
A process of decision making that is Inclusive is based on ensuring a win-win for all stakeholders. This enhances their motivation to participate with us and our motivation to participate with them.
How do I do this?
I take the following steps to achieve this:
- Read the Problem statement again.
- List the stakeholders for this decision.
- List all possible challenges that are being faced by each stakeholder.
- List all possible benefits they can gain or losses they can avoid.
- Set up time to meet them and ensure that my list is correct and make any amendments possible.
- Create a final list of win-wins that will accrue to all stakeholders and list commitments being made by all.
Removing complexity of decisions requires discipline, time scheduling and then planning inclusively. Inclusiveness makes decision making fun and motivating, it includes other people’s interests and we ensure their well being and success. Doing this genuinely is the key. Using this technique in-genuinely will make others see through the facade of lies and deceit.
A decision for survival is driven towards excluding other people’s interests while a decision for Success, Scale and Joy drives other people towards us and makes the entire journey inclusive and fun.
Hope this is helpful for you. Have a wonderful day. My weekend is going well where I am blessed to be surrounded by people who truly wish me well. The Festival of Lights (Diwali) is almost here and I am spreading cheer all around me.
See you tomorrow when we talk about Step 4 of 7.
Do read the blog 3 to 4 times to get best out of it. Apply it and experience. Share your experience. Your responses help many more.
Hope you all liked my Diwali message titled – Rishton ki Diwali
(A festival of lights to light up Relationships). You can view it here or visit the youtube page for SKC World.
🌹 🌹 🌹
*top image credit: www.techrepublic.com